catharsis

memento mori

A kiss. I saw the look in your eye
and I curse myself.
This was going to hurt.
Bulletproof, you can’t catch me.
For a second I pull away,
you draw me back, inescapable,
you draw me in, lift me up.
Escapism. I have no choice
but to continue. I’m right,
it hurts. Doubts disappear.
I find myself pining, words
spilling, mind brewing thoughts
I thought I could not think.
I imagine hearing you whisper that
you love me. World crumbles,
too afraid before to know what I knew.
Too afraid to stay, run before
I’m in too deep. Whispers of
I love you. Realisation hits,
uhoh, you caught me. 

the world overwhelms me

falling in and out of love like there’s nothing to lose, scared of losing everything because i’m leaving, leaving because i need to get out, move on, brush off. you brushed me off and laughed me out and i landed feet first and walked away, you won’t catch me oh no. there’s faces here i don’t recognise and it’s getting too late to remember why i cared, it’s getting too late to remember who we are or why we came. the optimism is spinning me round and round and i’m inexplicably happy yet terrified of life.

the thought that there is nothing more than this brings me down

i see the laughter in the world and i realise

once you’ve gotten over being a melodramatic teenager, it really is rather simple to get on with life

entitled this catharsis and not feeling cathartic at all

900

• TEN THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF

  1. Books are what I love most in the world
  2. A close second love is rosé wine
  3. Fell in love with Italy in the one week I spent there
  4. Many acquaintances, far less friendships
  5. I get my blunt sarcasm from my father
  6. Apparently friends with music fags and rather less than intellectuals and drug addicts yet these are the three things which I’m not
  7. Teaching myself Latin
  8. Wear a cross all the time but too sceptical for religion
  9. Marzipan is the best taste ever
  10. If you like Taking Back Sunday then I’ll like you

  NINE THINGS YOU’VE THOUGHT ABOUT RECENTLY
  

  1. Needing more money than I actually have
  2. Visiting an osteopath for my poor crippled back
  3. ‘Do I have work tomorrow..?’
  4. Spiders.. ergh
  5. Needing a cigarette
  6. Quitting smoking
  7. The knowledge that my best friend being able to legally drink will be the most dangerous thing that’s ever happened to me
  8. University and travelling
  9. Whether or not I’m wasting my time

  EIGHT WAYS TO WIN YOUR HEART
  

  1. Sense of humour
  2. Ability to detect, understand and appreciate sarcasm
  3. Clever use of anecdotes
  4. As disgusting as it is, to not be against me smoking
  5. Wit and intelligence
  6. Making the effort to get on with my most unsociable of friends
  7. 100% them. eg, no pretentious twats
  8. No lies

  SEVEN FAVORITE SONGS YOU’VE HAD. 
  

  1. The Virgins - Love is Colder Than Death
  2. The Arctic Monkeys - The View From The Afternoon
  3. The Libertines - Music When The Lights Go Out
  4. Taking Back Sunday - Set Phasers To Stun
  5. R Kelly - Ignition (Remix)
  6. Michael Jackson - Billie Jean
  7. The Metros - Talk About It

  SIX THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU GO TO BED. 

  1. Pull out the sofa bed
  2. Put on some Family Guy or South Park
  3. Brush my teeth
  4. Get a glass of water
  5. Put on the trackies that I stole from my bro
  6. Stroll into the garden for a cig

  FIVE THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY TO FIVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT. 
  

  1. I’m on the verge of making new plans
  2. What was your problem with me?
  3. Shut up
  4. Grow up
  5. Go away

  FOUR THINGS YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW. 

  1. Err, this apparently
  2. Googling R Kelly
  3. Sipping on a chai tea
  4. Singing incredibly out of tune

  THREE THINGS YOU’RE SCARED OF

  1. Not knowing
  2. Falling and/or Heights
  3. Life

  TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

  1. Live for a while in Vienna or Prague
  2. See the Northern Lights

  ONE CONFESSION

  1. I genuinely don’t remember ahah

tumblr is stupid, goodbye for now.

slightly concerned about falling for the best friend, oh no. i’m feeling sad, my college life is completely over on wednesday and people are already leaving. becky’s gone and finn’s going next week. my brothers flight is in a few hours, i don’t know where the time’s gone. ahhhhh fuck.